To my seventh period student who asked me if I would read screen shots of her novel-in-progress off her phone during today's test: you inspired me. To SE Hinton, whose story of how her husband caused her to write the novel I taught first quarter, two pages at a time: you reminded me that writers write and others just talk about it. To Juaquin Zihuatenejo, your poem, "Final Exam for My Father" inspired me to put a demon from childhood to rest.

This is not a normal blog entry, but it is still about teaching and it still tells you why I'm Mr. Logan.

To My Second Grade Teacher Whose Name I Won't Remember

Did you know that I can remember the names of every street address,

and every telephone number,

names of every teacher I had from Kindergarten through twelfth grade,

but I can’t remember your name?

I am writing to you because you have spent too much time

eating away at my psyche

filling up stories of my childhood

I don’t remember your name

but I remember you

I remember how you made me feel

I remember that you

Used double-wide masking tape to shut my mouth

and I ate it

Put a refrigerator box around my desk

to isolate me

so you wouldn’t have to look at

the black boy

they made you teach that year

and I decorated it like a cubicle

complete with post-it note messages

“Daddy loves you!”

“Mommy thinks you’re the best!”

I made a calendar with birth dates and holidays

and all the kids complained that it was not fair

they wanted one too

I remember that I bit my bullies in second grade

I remember you never helped me

I remember you lied to my parents

told them I bit you

I remember that is the only time I got a licking I didn’t think I deserved

I remember I was only 7

I remember that was my first licking with a belt

You have spent too much time

in my mind

in my stories

I am writing you to expel your shadow from me

I remember when you broke the law

I didn’t know it was a law

I remember being punished

and getting a new group

because I had too much to say

I was too well liked

I lived in the good neighborhood next to your best friend

I remember that you never acknowledged

me waving and calling out to you

my teacher

from my front yard as you got out of your car in the driveway next door

I remembered you never mentioned to me that your friends

and my friends

lived next door to me

I remember your unsmiling face

glaring through cat-eye glasses

the way you puffed your red bangs out of your glasses

just before you told me to shut up

I remember you had no answer when I told you my work was done

I remember you stammered for me to start the next activity

I remember in fourth grade we moved to Radisson

The student-teacher who tested me in Kindergarten

was the reading specialist at the new school

She called my house and yelled at my mom

I had been moved out of my accelerated reading group

in second grade

into “regular track”

even though I was reading at a seventh grade level in kindergarten

I remember that it was you who moved me

My parents did not know

I did not know you broke the law

I remember the fear of Mom and Dad finding out

you disciplined me

it was my fault

I had too much to say

I remember

I owe you a lawsuit

But you have been in my head

for too many years

So I’m exorcising you

demon

I want you to know

your deception was discovered

my education was recovered

my future was restored

Resume bullets that still fill me with pride:

• Kenyon College 1989
• University of Pennsylvania 1994
• Teacher As Scholars Award Recipient 2002
• WGAL Teacher of the Year Nominee 2010

I did that

You didn’t stop me

Students may not remember your name

the lessons you taught

but they will remember how you made them feel

I remembered it’s time to put you into words

and exorcise your demon

in this exercise

and I don’t even remember your name

Joel W. Logan

November 3, 2015