This is not a normal blog entry, but it is still about teaching and it still tells you why I'm Mr. Logan.
To My Second Grade Teacher Whose Name I Won't Remember
Did you know that I can remember the names of every street address,
and every telephone number,
names of every teacher I had from Kindergarten through twelfth grade,
but I can’t remember your name?
I am writing to you because you have spent too much time
eating away at my psyche
filling up stories of my childhood
I don’t remember your name
but I remember you
I remember how you made me feel
I remember that you
Used double-wide masking tape to shut my mouth
and I ate it
Put a refrigerator box around my desk
to isolate me
so you wouldn’t have to look at
the black boy
they made you teach that year
and I decorated it like a cubicle
complete with post-it note messages
“Daddy loves you!”
“Mommy thinks you’re the best!”
I made a calendar with birth dates and holidays
and all the kids complained that it was not fair
they wanted one too
I remember that I bit my bullies in second grade
I remember you never helped me
I remember you lied to my parents
told them I bit you
I remember that is the only time I got a licking I didn’t think I deserved
I remember I was only 7
I remember that was my first licking with a belt
You have spent too much time
in my mind
in my stories
I am writing you to expel your shadow from me
I remember when you broke the law
I didn’t know it was a law
I remember being punished
and getting a new group
because I had too much to say
I was too well liked
I lived in the good neighborhood next to your best friend
I remember that you never acknowledged
me waving and calling out to you
my teacher
from my front yard as you got out of your car in the driveway next door
I remembered you never mentioned to me that your friends
and my friends
lived next door to me
I remember your unsmiling face
glaring through cat-eye glasses
the way you puffed your red bangs out of your glasses
just before you told me to shut up
I remember you had no answer when I told you my work was done
I remember you stammered for me to start the next activity
I remember in fourth grade we moved to Radisson
The student-teacher who tested me in Kindergarten
was the reading specialist at the new school
She called my house and yelled at my mom
I had been moved out of my accelerated reading group
in second grade
into “regular track”
even though I was reading at a seventh grade level in kindergarten
I remember that it was you who moved me
My parents did not know
I did not know you broke the law
I remember the fear of Mom and Dad finding out
you disciplined me
it was my fault
I had too much to say
I remember
I owe you a lawsuit
But you have been in my head
for too many years
So I’m exorcising you
demon
I want you to know
your deception was discovered
my education was recovered
my future was restored
Resume bullets that still fill me with pride:
- Kenyon College 1989
- University of Pennsylvania 1994
- Teacher As Scholars Award Recipient 2002
- WGAL Teacher of the Year Nominee 2010
I did that
You didn’t stop me
Students may not remember your name
the lessons you taught
but they will remember how you made them feel
I remembered it’s time to put you into words
and exorcise your demon
in this exercise
and I don’t even remember your name
Joel W. Logan
November 3, 2015